Learning to Breathe Again
After December, I needed to find air again.
It's not a metaphor. I literally felt the physical need to breathe better, to fill my lungs with something other than anxiety. And there's only one place where I can truly do this: in nature.
So, even without a vehicle to move around easily, I started walking. Hours, if necessary. Just to be outside, to move, to let my body do what my mind still struggled to do: move forward.
The Sea and the Mini Dragons
The sea was almost an hour's walk from home. An hour that became a ritual, a passage. Each step distanced me a little more from the thoughts that had kept me awake for weeks.
During those walks I discovered ancient unpaved roads, flanked by walls of lava stone. Roads now unknown to everyone, forgotten. But which were certainly much used in the past by farmers or shepherds... who knows. There was something deeply poetic about walking those same paths, imagining all the lives that had passed there before me.
And then there were them: the cormorants. I've always found them fascinating, but in that period they became an almost symbolic presence. I watched them dry their wings in the sun, with that particular posture, wings spread wide as if they were embracing the wind. They look like mini dragons. To me they were like prehistoric creatures that had found their place in the world without asking too many questions.

After climbing on various lava stone rocks, an activity I've loved since I was a child, I would sit on one of them to observe them. And somehow, seeing beings so perfectly in balance with their environment helped me believe that maybe I too would find mine.

Yoga on Etna
Then there was the yoga experience on Etna. Meditation in the forest, with the energy of the volcano beneath my feet. And as if that weren't enough, a surprise excursion to a cave I didn't even know existed.
I don't know how to explain it without sounding rhetorical, but that day brought me back to myself. The connection with nature, the breath synchronized with movement, the silence in my mind during meditation that amplified every thought until it became so clear I could no longer ignore it.

This was what I was missing. Not the answers, not certainty. But this connection. With places. With my body. With the part of me that knows, even when the mind doesn't understand yet.

Breaking Out of the Winter Mood
December had been a month buried under the weight of thoughts. January and February had to be different. I couldn't afford to remain trapped in that depressive mood that winter brings, that sense of emotional hibernation that makes you believe everything can wait until spring.
Every hike, every walk to the sea, every breath synchronized with the movement of yoga was a step out of that fog. It's not that suddenly everything was resolved. But at least I was starting to feel again. And feeling, even when it hurts, is always better than being numb.
Preparing to Walk
I realized that what I was doing wasn't just "being in nature to feel better." It was preparing myself. Physically, mentally, emotionally. I was building the foundation from which I could then make the leap.
Because yes, I had lightened my backpack. I had let go of objects, limiting thoughts, chains. But I also had to fill myself with something: with strength, with connection, with that energy that only nature can give when you truly open yourself to it.
The cormorants dried their wings before diving again. I too was drying mine.
Now I was ready to fly.
📻 Soundtrack
📻 Colonna Sonora

🎵 Caricamento...
YouTube Music
"I'll leave tonight to save my mind" - this phrase perfectly captures what January and February were for me.
It wasn't just a walk, but a necessary act to save my mind.
Crossing ancient roads, climbing rocks, meditating in the forest: each step was a way out of the fog.
"My paradise is their hell" - for me, spending hours walking is paradise, for those in their comfort zone it might seem like hell.
I was preparing my wings, not theirs